Be the Friend You Want to Have

Be the Friend You Want to Have

In my early twenties I was waiting for a boyfriend that I hoped would be my future spouse. I often wondered why, in my perspective, it was taking so long. I actually had a list of traits or qualities that I was looking for in this man. My list was comprised of ten non-negotiable attributes and one negotiable attribute. The negotiable trait was that he played the guitar. Oh yeah, we were getting down to the nitty gritty. 🙂

Even though the list was rather exhaustive, I hadn’t included the attributes of humble, gentle, and patient. However, eight years into marriage, everyday I thank God for a spouse that displays these characteristics as he interacts and deals with me  and our family, day in and day out.

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:1-3

To deepen our relationships, God calls us to be the friend we want to have. He calls us to be humble, meaning that we put other’s needs before our own. He asks us to be gentle so that we are building each other up rather than tearing each other down. He encourages us to be patient with one another and always bear with one another in love.  Bearing with one another in love means to extend grace and forgiveness. Grace means extending a gift not earned. Forgiveness is often a grace we need to extend if we desire to have relational blessing.

Matthew Henry cites, “The best Christians have need to bear one with another, and to make the best one of another, to provoke one another’s graces and not their passions…Only by pride comes contention; only by humility comes love.”

To deepen our relationships, we need to be women who disarm and embrace the people in our lives with love, grace, and humility. To find and establish true friends, we need to be the type of  friend we want to have.

Who can you be patient with today? Who can you serve in love today? Who can you embrace with a gentle spirit today? It might just be the person, God uses to pour back into your life in those ways.


Photo –  ©2003-2013 prizmm

About Erin Nicole Thompson

Erin Nicole Thompson is a fun-loving and authentic momma to 4 littles, wife of a ruggedly handsome Pastor, and as she likes to think, the CEO of her home operations. She delights in worship, cooking with good music, the sweet faces of her sleeping children, adult conversations, and some quiet time at Starbucks. She loves to serve alongside, encourage, and equip young and seasoned women. Erin is grateful to be part of what God is doing at The Chapel, a multi-campus church in Northern Chicago-land where her husband, Dave, pastors the Lake Zurich Campus. Presently, she lives to dream and follow God as he writes her story.