Ambassadors of Hope

Ambassadors of Hope

The unbearable ache was like a tight fist crushing around my heart. Cowardly, I took refuge in a tiny infant room packed with adorable babies. As I tried to regain my composure, hot tears of shame poured down my cheeks. The beckoning stares and twisted limbs of young children squirming in stained cribs with soiled diapers awoke me from what I thought was a noble, yet romantic notion of working with orphans in a third world country. The heartbreaking reality of their living condition overwhelmed and frightened me.

I cried because I felt helpless and hopeless.

What could I possibly do when their needs are so great, and I am just one person?

I am not equipped with proper training or resources to make any difference?Continue reading

Staring in the Face of a Blinding Light

Staring in the Face of a Blinding Light

I don’t really know true darkness. Do you?  I have been a Chicago suburb girl all my life, so even when the moon isn’t shining at night there has always been some ambient light from streetlights or the latest promotional gimmick at a local store.

I can remember going camping with my middle school astronomy class to do some star gazing. We drove hours and hours away to get to a place where it was dark enough to truly see the stars.

We huddled up under the light in a picnic shelter as our teacher gave us our instructions. He turned off the light and sent us out. It took our eyes about ten minutes to adjust and function. We all ended up having an extraordinary star gazing experience.

Our eyes had so adjusted to the darkness that when someone flashed a little flashlight in our direction, our eyes did a double take. And when it came time for us to huddle up again under the bright light in the picnic shelter, our eyes were blurs of spots and flashes of light for some time.

I couldn’t imagine being out in the darkness and seeing much more than a flashlight or a light bulb. I can’t imagine how I might have reacted had it been much more.Continue reading

Scattered, But…

Do you feel scattered? Your mind in a hundred places. Your to do list on five different pieces of scratch paper you can’t find. Your spirit just feels on edge. Your mind is scattered and your spirit is tattered.

In a moment like this, with just 5 words, God breathed life-giving, stress-relieving truth into my mind and heart.Continue reading

A Desperate Cry

A Desperate Cry

Isolated. I feel isolated. I’m on my own emotional island. Things are going on around me but I’m in my own little world. A world that feels like I’m drowning. The water overwhelms me. It washes away the joy and peace God has for me.

I try to break out. I try to float but only for brief moments and then my loneliness washes over me again.

Why do I feel this way? Why can’t I get my head out of the water?

Lord, where are you? I’m trying to find you but I don’t have it within me. I need you to find me. I need your Spirit to awaken my soul. I need your spirit to fight for me. Continue reading

Stuck

Stuck

How many moments have you focused in on your challenges? How many hours have you remembered your pain? How many days have you recalled your suffering?

And you find yourself stuck. Stuck in the memory. Stuck in the bitterness. Stuck in the situation. Stuck in the frustration. Just stuck.Continue reading