I still don’t really get it

I still don’t really get it

Do you ever wonder if your kids really get it? Like the heart behind giving. Or why the new kid in school needs a friend. We spend so much time sharing information and trying to steer them in the right direction, but how do we know when they really get it?

Other moms tell me we will know when they are grown. But sometimes we will get small glimpses of what has sunk into their heart, hopefully now.

Take the drawing above.

It was the artistry of my five-year-old son. This son doesn’t like when we read the Bible at night and doesn’t care to pray when invited. It seems as if he isn’t getting it.

However, it was his own idea one day to make this drawing for his Dad.

And as I gazed at this drawing hanging over my husband’s desk, I thought to myself, I think he gets it.

I noticed the dark clouds overhead, but the sun still shining above. It struck me that he drew a body upon the cross with two crosses on either side. And that man in the middle, well, he had a sad face. He was not happy. And it looks as if his hands are open and reaching up to heaven.

As I studied this drawing it awakened hope within my heart because I thought to myself, I think he is getting it.

Meanwhile while my five-year-old is getting it, it dawned on me that I still don’t really get it. This moment that is.

A moment where my savior was spat at. Bullied. Taunted. Abused.
A moment where he lugged a full timber upon his back that was gashed open from his whipping and torment.
A moment where nails were hammered through his very wrists and feet, piercing his skin and forced through his bone.
The moment where he drew in and exhaled his last breath. Giving up his spirit.

It was a moment in a story that my brain still can’t fully wrap around. A story that still has another chapter. Or two to be written.

I just still really don’t get it.

So this is my prayer as we head into Good Friday and I invite you to make it yours too.

I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! Philippians 3:10-11 NLT

I want to know Christ. Experience his power. Father, help me suffer with Jesus and feel his death. So that I might experience his resurrected life in mine. Daddy, help me really get it.

That’s my prayer.

Praying you have a powerful and worshipful Easter weekend.

Blessings to you and your family, Erin

My Fight for Freedom

My Fight for Freedom

I have fought this fight before, but this time is different. It’s a new journey. A new day. Because as elementary as it may sound, the Lord has been teaching me to let him lead. Just him.

You see I am a recovering control-freak who has often-forged forward with what I think are God-ideas. But in my own strength. In my own time. In my own way.

Anyone else?

The problem with this particular area is that I have succeeded in the short-term, but over the long haul I had retraced my old steps.

This time I was desperate for change. I knew I couldn’t live like this any longer. My feet hurt. My back ached. And I was oh so tired. I possessed zero energy and motivation to pull up my bootstraps and try on my own.

Desperation was the very place God met me. Continue reading

3 Gifts God Gives

3 Gifts God Gives

What makes most little boys eyes light up even when it’s not Christmas morning? Trains. All three of my little men loved or still love trains. One Saturday morning, my hubby and I had the brilliant idea to take them to a train diner for breakfast.

As all quality train diners, it was located right next to the tracks. Our car tires stumbled over the rails. Screeched into a parking space. While our boys launched from the car like Tom Cruise evacuating from his plane in Top Gun. (If you’re too young to know that reference, I am sorry. Your loss.)

So the boys bolt into the restaurant. Jump into the booth. And then I blew it.

I say, “Boys, just look at them. Look at all the trains!!”

My boys started banging on the glass cabinets where collector train engines were stored.

“No babies, don’t bang on the glass. Just look at them! Shh….”

Big mistake. Big. Huge. We should have just left.Continue reading

4 Ways to Win in our Wilderness

4 Ways to Win in our Wilderness

As I leaned back on the couch in my counselor’s office, I posed a question. The question originated out of the circumstances of the last four days. Personally, my heart bottomed out when a extremely high water bill disclosed we had some leaks. But that paled in comparison, to the overwhelmingly scary situations some dear friends found themselves in.

My question to him was, “When circumstances for me or loved ones are overwhelming, how can I lean into their pain but learn not to turn to food for an escape afterward.”

Though he seemed a bit uneasy learning I was a pastor’s wife, in his wise counsel he kept coming back to this word “trust”.

As he was talking I was thinking he was really meaning “faith” but just not willing to say it. However, as I was processing the conversation with the Lord, I sensed his Spirit say, “No, I mean trust.”

And like a lightbulb switching on, I realized his answer connected to our question for today.

How do we win in our wilderness?Continue reading

It’s time to rise & shine

It’s time to rise & shine

I am not the only woman struggling in this moment in time, or feeling physically and emotionally worn out. I am not the only one walking through a difficult season that is stretching my faith like a rubber band.

We are not alone.

I am not the only one Continue reading